A Guide to dealing with introverts, from the dark lordess herself. Miss Brighton! 1-800-601-6975

Introverted types have a reputation for being assholes. Annnd we are actually assholes. LMAO!!! Mostly because we keep to ourselves, and we only speak if we actually HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY. And most of the time when we finally do speak it’s something scathing that ends up hurting somebodies feelings. So here’s a guide (I am just going to do these periodically as a fucking reminder. See: How to avoid being an asshole ), to dealing with introverts, so that you A. don’t embarrass yourself interacting with one B. don’t get on their (our… my…) goddamn nerves.

Personal Space And Introverts

We need a lot of it. No… you don’t understand, I mean A LOT OF IT. The caps lock is to emphasis that if you do not give, and respect an introverts personal space, you may end up on the eleven o’clock news. Example: Family members? I speak to maybe once a year if that. I’m not kidding. Family are the biggest offenders. Second in line are well.. everybody who doesn’t understand our unwavering desire to be alone.  I talk on the phone for a living, I DO NOT want to spend time on the phone when I’m on personal time. I fucking hate it. Just being honest. So text, email, and um… carrier pigeon, are the best ways to communicate with me. I also have friends I love dearly that I only speak to once a year to make sure they still have a pulse. So don’t take it personally if I don’t feel like talking. It has nothing to do with you- until it does, and if it does I’ll just tell you so. Easy right?

Things You Can Handle Yourself Vs. Things You Actually Need Help With (AKA why I drink vodka straight on Sunday nights)

This is me, praying for your teeth…. Mistress Brighton 1-800-601-6975

If you have an emergency (your definition of emergency and my definition of emergency are VERY different), call 911, that’s what it’s there for. There are very few people I let into my personal space and will go out of my way for when I’m on my own time, because most of the time what they want isn’t nearly as important as they think it is. If you can’t explain via text what you need then you don’t need it. So pro-tip: tell me what it is you need, I can help you a hell of a lot faster if I know what you’re asking for.

Respecting An Introverts Time And Energy

If you do not respect my personal space, time, energy, and spirit, you will be cut off. This goes for everyone. If you waste my time, or are inconsistent, or unreliable, or have repeatedly been given chances and still continue the same pattern of behavior you are out. Introverts take these things very seriously because of how draining it is to our energy to deal with people who waste our time. I should honestly write a “how to not be a fucking dickhead” book based on the things introverts deal with. Maybe I will, or I will turn this into a weekly post. There are things, and people that are called energy leaks. Energy leaks are a real thing, and they are the reason I have to periodically clear out my energy and my personal space….. with a flamethrower.

We Are Not Stupid But We Think You Are

Growing up as an introvert I had to hear the s word a lot. From people that didn’t know they were about to get their teeth kicked in. Introverts are not stupid. Just because we’re quiet, does not mean we have no social skills, we just don’t want to talk to you. We could be thinking about something, working, focused, plotting your death, you just never know. But I can assure you we’re far from stupid, most of us are smarter than you are because you still haven’t figured out how to get through life without annoying the shit out of everyone, and natural selection is coming for you.

Have A Sense Of Humor For Fuck’s Sake

Introverts are on occasion (every day and twice on sundays) sarcastic assholes. We’re also blunt. If you don’t have a sense of humor or you can’t handle bluntness then turn around and run away and leave us alone. We’ll appreciate all the oxygen you’re not wasting in our presence, if you do.

Bonus Introvert Tips

BE AN ADULT. This would seem obvious except for the fact that it is apparently not obvious to 95% of the population.

So that’s my happy fun times “come to Jesus” coffee talk for the week. If you are offended by anything I’ve said and would like to fight me, you can reach me at brighton@enchantrixempire.com, enchantrixbrighton on skype, enchantrixbrighton in the virtual world, GoddessBrighton#8591 on discord, @MsBrighton on twitter.  Or just call 1-800-601-6975 and ask for Brighton and I’ll be more than happy to kick you in the balls. Have a great day!

FUCK OFF!!!!

Mistress Brighton

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