Femdom Informercials and fucking weird femdom with Miss Brighotn 1-800-601-6975
Sometimes you can find inspiration in the most random of places. Last night Alyssa and I had a caller with varying interests who enjoying bopping his salami while butt naked in bed… which leads me to femdom informercials, and Alyssa’s new invention for fruit fucking tally whackers.
Femdom Infomercials…. What The Fucketh???
I’m not sure if someone operating our simulated world here slipped something in the water, but last night was a wild night for me and Miss Alyssa. We had a very interesting subject with a host of interests, who started off talking about nightgowns, and then bounced to a conversation about different terms for masturbation. Our very animated caller then admitted he gets hot and bothered by the sound of banjos playing… Deliverance anyone? Oh but it just keeps getting weirder! These things only happen to me and Alyssa… I’m not sure why, maybe it’s our energy, but we attract some fucking riots! I know.. you’re wondering about the informercials… I’m getting to that.
Fruit Scoops: When You Need The Perfect Sized Hole
Yep, to my delight, we’ve got ourselves a sploshing fruit fucker! He confessed that he had a very embarrassing trip to the ER, after getting a little too rambunctious with a watermelon pussy that was remnant of a fruity vagina dentata. Ouch. Well that tickled Alyssa’s noggin, and she came up with an idea for fruit scoops that create the perfect size edible pussy (is that redundant?) for every size from pin dick, to massive dong. Which led to talks of infomercials, for everything from the domesticated fruit fucker, to men who sometimes have that not so fresh feeling and just want to ride a bike through a field of goddamn flowers and have sparkling clean balls that make that ding bell sound like in the orbit commercials. *blinks* What? Anyhoo! If you enjoy totally random femdom sessions that leave you questioning your own sanity, I implore you to call 1-800-601-6975 and ask for Brighton. Act now, and you’ll get a brand spanking new kick in the balls… absolutely free with your order!!!!
FUCK OFF!!!!
Mistress Brighton
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
No free fruit scoop set with a call? Hurry supplies are limited, call now!
Act now and you get free carvel with extra sprinkles spotty!
Oh Dear! You and Alyssa definitely are a … ‘team’. I can certainly vouch for that! It’s been a while but you two really had your way with me!
If you two had a roadside stand, ya know… like the ones next to orchards in the country, and were sellin’ melons dressed all up in daisy dukes like Daisy Dukes and I drove by I would be ‘screwed’!
First because I wouldn’t be able to resist stopping, second because even knowing what your plans would be for me I wouldn’t be able to resist! Third, because I would have no choice but to let you have your way.
Why?
Fourth… it’s a fruit stand FULL OF MELONS!!! I’m sure you would keep me real busy!
You Melon Fucker
If we opened a melon stand you’d be the first in line!
Thank you! How could I NOT be! You turned me into your melon fucking machine!