Hello gang! I thought I’d do a blog about Mistress after care, because while we do care about the needs and emotional/mental state of subs, I don’t see enough written about the toll being in control for long periods of time, takes on the Dominant. So why don’t we have a chat about how to be a good sub, and make sure your Domme is properly taken care of before, during, and after a scene. Also make sure you listen to the audio, for a very personal message from me. *smiles*
Mistress After Care – Don’t Be Selfish
I have noticed, that it is a common occurrence for many subs to forget their place, and be overly demanding of a Domme, when they want attention. Not only is this extremely selfish, but it’s disrespectful to impose on a Dominants personal space or time, or to make demands of one. Not to mention topping from the bottom. It is very unrealistic to expect your Domme to have nothing better to do than talk to you or cater to your fantasies all day long. Like you, they have a life outside of the D/s dynamic, and other obligations. I can tell you first hand that I’ve seen subs throw full on tantrums when they didn’t get whatever attention they felt entitled to. That’s not cool, and it’s also a fabulous way to push someone away from you, causing your Domme to be even more distant, if you are not respecting their personal space.
Ask Questions And Find Out What They Need
Sure, you might want your Domme to spank you, fuck you with a spiked dildo, but are they ready to do that, and are you catering to their needs or only your own? Scenes can be mentally and emotionally exhausting for both parties, as is constantly being in control, so even something as simple as asking if they need a glass of water, or to take a little break, can be considerate, and remembering to be compassionate and that a Dominant is a person just like you. Please respect their time, and if they say “NO” respect that no also means no for a Domme. It does not mean “keep badgering me until I say yes.” Even a constant unending wall of texts and emails can be overwhelming for a Mistress, and cause her to shut down and stop responding. Especially if your Dominant has other subs she does sessions with. A wall of texts and non stop messaging her is going to do the opposite of getting her to respond. So please, respect your Mistress’ time, and her boundaries. Messaging to check up on your Mistress is fine, but make sure you’re not spamming her or making demands of her. Make sure you are taking care of YOUR Mistress, and give her time for personal space and energy clearing.
Make sure both Domme and sub are taking care of their mental health, too. We often get so wrapped up in everything that’s going on that we forget to take a breather. My personal tips for my fellow Mistresses in regard to Mistress After Care: DO A DIGITAL CLEANSE. Turn the phone off, turn the pc off, get out of the house, or take a spa day, or even a nice relaxing bath. Let your subs know you’re taking a break and WILL NOT BE AVAILABLE for any communications during this time, and STICK TO IT. If you put your foot down (and not necessarily on their necks), they have to respect your wishes. And if a sub continues attempting to contact you or talk to you during your down time, then that sub doesn’t respect you and perhaps they need to be cut loose.
Tips for subs: If you see your Mistress is either away, on a call, or has a status that clearly implies she is unavailable, respect it. Leaving one simple “hello” or a quick inquiry is fine; frantic strings of messages is not so fine. Unless your house is on fire, in which case you need to be contacting 911, not your Mistress. If she’s not available then honestly go do something else for a while, or work something out where you have a directive to follow in the event that your Mistress is not available to attend to you. That’s way better than your Mistress coming back to 50 unanswered frantic messages, that were probably not nearly as important as YOU thought they were.
I know, I’ve got a knack for being blunt. This is a pet peeve of mine, and I want subs to understand that respect, boundaries, and personal space, are healthy parts of any D/s relationship and they go both ways. As does communication. With that said, once boundaries and respect are established, HAVE FUN!!! Get your Femdom fix and make sure you are boosting your Mistress’ energy, not draining it. Ready to party? 1-800-601-6975 is where you can reach Brighton, or any of the Cock Control Mistresses if I’m not available. While we chat we can talk about Mistress after care, and your after care, too.